Because we both love coffee, but also because our conversations are (usually) enriching, I was always very tempted to find time when my colleague Eleonora would ask: “When do you have a break today?”.
These breaks inspired the idea to put our interests and skills together, because we discovered that they complete each other in many ways, and when we combined our views and processes of working with people, it opened up a very interesting approach to creating a community for passionate and ambitious women.
This is the story of how we got there!
When Eleonora met Karen, and had some questions…
“Why am I convinced that being coached around money issues can do wonders for anyone that wants to present themselves to the world?
Well, I am always talking about ‘keys’, like when I speak about the 3 keys:
and their degree of importance when you are looking for a transformation.
Within the key mindset, I use 2 ‘key words’:
Let me explain…
As you know, I am a bit of an ADHD’er when it comes to new ideas, setting up the next project, and studying constantly because it is all so interesting. But a few years ago, I realised that I was basically on this never-ending mission to continuously stuff my brain while I managed to only finish a few of the things I was undertaking. I also noticed that I always felt this overwhelming fatigue. And that made me upset… Because there was so much to do!
That was when I became aware of what I was doing. I was sabotaging myself.
Having all these great ideas is really exciting, but without execution, they are just that: ideas! But they still take up space in your head, and that is tiring.”
“So why were you not executing them?”
“Firstly, I was overcommitting in a way and always had endless to-do lists, taking on studies and setting up something a new business while having to make money to live. I also felt a constant pressure between making enough money with one business and still being able to devote time to the rest of my ambitions.
So it was great to be aware of all of this, but I still wasn’t clear about why I struggled with this procrastination, and why I was so convinced that I always had to do more and work harder to get somewhere.
I figured it out while working with a coach: I was struggling with inner resistance.”
“What exactly do you mean by that?”
“Everyone struggles with inner resistance. You can do all the self-development work you want, but if there are things stuck in your unconscious mind, actual programming that is there since you were a child or since a specific event happened, the wiring of your brain will be set up in a way that you will never get the results you want. Or when you do get there, you will unconsciously find a way to sabotage yourself.
A coach is committed to guide you to uncover these things, to dig deep so you can clear those blocks out of your system. And that’s why is clarity is so important:
Think about the fact that it is incredibly difficult to take action or even make a decision about something when you are not clear about what you want, where you are heading or why you react to things in a certain way. If we don’t have clarity, we cannot move forward, we cannot be decisive, we cannot be powerful, because there is too much confusion.
When it becomes more clear what the blocks that are holding you back are, you will have to get really specific about finding out exactly what yours represent. Different people have different blocks and different energy around being successful, earning more money, being appreciated, etc.”
“Ok that makes sense. So awareness and clarity…”
“Yes! Your first step always is awareness. Awareness of the fact that you are not moving forward or awareness of a certain behavior or a recurrent pattern in your life.
Then you have to get clarity on what is holding you back and you will have to be specific about what those blocks represent.
To find out what they represent, you should always be looking at a few things:
- Emotions: that run through your nervous system, which is anything that comes up when you talk about something specific or when you are in a specific situation
- Habitual belief or self-talk: which is a dialogue in your head that starts straight away when you are in that situation
- Trauma that is connected to those feelings and negative self-talk.”
“Got it! So once you have all this information, how do you clear it?”
“When I learned all of this, I discovered EFT. Emotional Freedom Therapy or Techniques.
This is a technique that uses the mind-body connection.
The mind-body connection is how your autonomic nervous system reacts, and how physiological changes in your body actually happen based on what you’re thinking. Your thoughts can trigger emotions and feelings and sensations running through your nervous system, also known as the fight or flight or stress response. That’s the mind-body connection.
And once we know what your blocks are or where they are coming from, EFT or tapping is super efficient to clear them away. It’s a very powerful tool. By tapping on different acupressure points on different meridians in the face and upper body while you address those negative feelings and thoughts, you can deregulate or even switch off the stress response triggered in the amygdala.”
“Can you do a session with me now? Or do you want another coffee first?”
Tune in next week for part 2, when Karen asked Eleonora all of the questions!